The first entry of “fog” in wordreference dictionary states:
“1. a mass of droplets of condensed water vapour suspended in the air, often greatly reducing visibility, corresponding to a cloud but at a lower level.”
Good. But then it continues…
“3. a state of mental uncertainty or obscurity” and
“4. a blurred or discoloured area on a developed negative, print, or transparency caused by the action of extraneous light, incorrect development, etc” Yes… that must be what happened…
This is one of my first films. I took it to develop somewhere in Barcelona (I was not developing back then, yet) and thought they had ruined it completely. These days, being ill and developing my films from my latest trip, I’m also going through a few old films, trying to fix what before I thought it was totally dead. And it turned out ok for me. Blurry, foggy (it was foggy despite the bad developing) but there is something talking…
If you were a frequent reader of this blog you must have realized our posting frequency decreased till the point of a very low and critical rate per month: 0. We haven’t written propper articles since… March? February? I don’t remember… and back then we were not behaving as writers taking care of their readers. In my case, I was behaving as a human being taking care of me but even that is hard, sometimes.
For the last months/half year I’ve been working like crazy, really really crazy, so many hours I lost the count. First, I was anxious about the end of my former contract and, you know the situation in Spain… so I was facing a whole summer with no job at all! (and no money!) Lucky me I found another job which enslaved me in another company (YAY!) giving all my time and, consequently, my dreams. But that was good. They teach us we need to work hard and get a job. Lucky me, I’m fine in my job, I like it, I like the people there and yes, I can say I have a job which in Spain that is a BIIIIIIG deal. But the life quality is very little. Plus this was my Plan B.
I don’t like getting into too much personal details (which is something we were doing eventually) but I do believe it’s kind of healthy and important to share experiences and say “hey! I’m doing this and I’m doing that, it may not be the right way but it’s the way I’m doing it because it’s possible and because I believe in a better world.” So yes, in the end we talk a little bit personal (just a liiiiittle tiny bit, we don’t want to scare possible artist who want to participate in our project. Hi there!)… just because we are person(s)
So I’m doing this and I’m doing that…
One of the things I felt having so little free time and spending it here on the internet was that I was talking about “how to do” and I was not doing anything. Also, I focused on learning so much Internet’s vocabulary and how to speak the same language (tagging, posting, etc.) and forgot the whole creating proces and my favourite part which is mainly hiding what I’m telling. Because I like writing between lines (yes, go and try to find the real meaning of this post, I’m talking about dragons and pink unicorns!! no kidding!!) where’s the real ART?! when after your whole creation, very carefully written you go to tags thinking “oh gosh, I’m so wise, only smart people will understand my text…” and write: Photography, text, feelings, how to be a photographer, the actual meaning of an artist, I love my work, I’m so cool I love breaking the rule,” plus a long list of etc’s showing your hidden meaning? We lose the creativity guys!! Internet is trying to make us believe we can share so many things and in the end we have to put ourselves in a queue and wait for the box they are going to put us in: “photography. Art. wedding photography. Literature. Two more girls trying to do something artistic”
So then the fog. That fog where you can’t see anything. Have you ever felt like “tell me what to do, I’ll do it”? I have. The most anxious feeling ever. So when I feel like that I stop what I’m doing and do other things. In this case, I need to create.
The last week of March, I went to visit Marta in Turin and took some very inspiring photographs over there. With my 120mm Yashica. My friend Nico is also living there in Turin and taught me and helped me to develop that film. I can’t tell with words what I felt then. You can probably see in the photos. I came back to Barcelona and started my plan: find all the materials you need to create nice handmade passepartout with beautiful prints. Then exhibit them and if anyone is interested sell some prints. But when you work 12 hours a day that takes a liiiiitle long to perform.
(series “…fluir…” -“to flow”)
And the serie “City of glass” (by Paul Auster) (I’m doing a series of series inspired by some of my favorite books)
But it’s done now. Two beautiful series I’m very proud of, limited edition, to be exhibited soon and on sale from now.
So if you’re interested in buying any of my prints, signed and limited edition (up to 8) don’t hesitate to write an email to email@example.com. Also know that by buying one of my prints, you’re helping someone to keep fighting for her plan A and keep dreaming. Because Spain is a very difficult place now but the world is huge endless possibilities, and just because one lives in a difficult place shouldn’t stop dreaming.
Because fog exists… it is there, it’s something created by nature and sometimes it may blurry our vision and we’ll cry for a divine force to tell us what to do. But then, after a while when you let it breathe, you go back to it and you find out that you can do something beautiful out of it. I think I’m still creating and I’m in the middle of the fog, because reality is too real and hard right now. But after some time I’ll live my plan A and will create something beautiful with the fog from my plan B.