The joy of photographing my muse’s wedding.

Just a quick post saying “Hello!” and “See you soon!” before going on longed and very deserved holidays.

My time disappeared among work and lost hours and I simply couldn’t spend any minute here, plus I wasn’t feeling like producing anything which may end up sounding like a grumble or a negative feeling, which in the end, that was the case. But I’m back, back to my venture.

Some weeks ago we went to one of my best friends’ wedding here in Barcelona, next to the beautiful village of Viladrau, in the famous and great restaurant Can Jubany, in the beautidul Mas d’Osor. It felt right to be her photographer since Georgina has always been my muse (check my early years on flickr, she’s the one who appears in most of my portraits, the one who was always willing to go out and shoot my crazy ideas),  so I called Marta to back me up and help me since I was also a guest.

Georgina+David_e-58

What I liked the most is the confidence I had with Georgina in this case. Being a very close friend and she being so used to the noise of my shutter, made my work so comfortable and fun. I loved sharing with her those moments and be an active participant also with her family. And the best part was the trust I felt from her. She knows me, she likes my work and she interacted like if it was simply one of those days when she used to come over on a friday evenings, holidays… and improvise a photo session at home or anywhere the car/motorbike may take us. Plus wedding butterflies in the stomach.

Georgina+David_e-57

Georgina+David_e-221

You can see a selection of Georgina and David’s wedding featured in my blog, it was so hard to make such a small selection, I will post more photos in the future. And you will also see Marta’s!

But, at the moment, I’m going to take my break, rest for a while and take a deep breath for what is to come.

And can’t wait for my next wedding in August… in BELGIUM!!!!!

Have a very good weekend!

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Love and the smell of sea.

I will remember mostly two things of my recent trip to Barcelona: love and the smell of sea.

I travelled to one of my dearest cities mainly to shoot a wedding with Emma. And what a wedding! I went there as a photographer, but came back with new friends, an enlarged second family, and a sense of elation. I’ve never seen so much love and fun, all mixed together to create the real perfect day (here’s a sneak peek of the wedding).

And the smell of sea. I had missed it for so long. The last day I was there I took a walk with my second mum (I’m sure you won’t mind if I call you like this, Cristina!) along the sea. It was a bright and glorious sunny day, a bit chilly but even more enjoyable because of that. I had walked there many times, but I loved it nonetheless, and how good it felt to smell something that I will always associate to my childhood and summer holidays.

I must confess I didn’t take many pictures of Barcelona (the wedding drained me in some sort of way), but this image is the one I cherish the most.

Simple things, like a feeling, a walk along the sea and an ice cream… with a perfect scenery.

Barcelona

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Family

When I think of Barcelona, I think of family.

I have been lucky enough to travel to Barcelona quite a few times, and not only discover this beautiful city , but also to meet and know splendid people who have become my second family.

It’s always nice to go there and play the tourist, but it’s nicer to discover the city through the eyes of the people who live there, go to places you would never have found on your own or by reading a guide, and just pretend you are living there too… until there comes a day when you really feel like you have become part of the city.

You don’t need a map to move around in the tube, nor you have to ask for directions when you are going to a specific place. You just meet up at a bar, or a bookshop, with some friends, and you even start to become familiar with the Catalan language (and dare to speak a few words).

Next week I’ll be lucky again, and will be in Barcelona for a few days. I’ll meet my second family again, and will get to know new people as well. Four days full of laughters, joy, and photographs.

I like to think of Torino as my home, and Barcelona as my family. So far and yet so close.

Barcelona - a view

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Getting lost

Sometimes you just need to get lost in order to find your way again. And silence slowly becomes your most loyal companion in this strange journey with no map, or even destination.

You walk, like through the street of a city you see for the first time, and let the world around you fill your soul. You look around, no judgments of any sorts. The light fills your eyes, and you just keep walking. Little by little you get to know the city, ’till it somehow becomes part of you. A slow and imperceptible change; you wake up one morning and you know nothing will be the same again, even if you still don’t really know how things will turn for you.

Silence and absence have been the two words that best describe what The Lonely Walkers project has been for the last year or so. Life takes over and changes you; or sometimes you decide to change yourself and your life. Everything seems to stay the same, yet you know everything is different, and you don’t know how to deal with it. The Lonely Walkers had become a project that was somehow inexplicably too big for both Emma and I. We had (and still have) to learn to deal with the many changes that our lives demanded.

But ideas, loves, and passions are there. Silent companions in our journeys. And photography always there, always to remind us that there’s something more to the hustle and bustle. That there’s a destination to our journey.

We are two travellers in this weird path that is life. We walk through the streets of new cities, get back, then set off again. Everything changes, and so do we. We’ll get back here, in the meantime we are soaking into these new landscapes and take photographs without judging what we are seeing and living. These photos will be the most treasured memories we’ll have of these years.

St. Pancras station, London

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Fog is a reality.

The first entry of “fog” in wordreference dictionary states:

“1. a mass of droplets of condensed water vapour suspended in the air, often greatly reducing visibility, corresponding to a cloud but at a lower level.”

Good. But then it continues…

“3. a state of mental uncertainty or obscurity” and

“4. a blurred or discoloured area on a developed negative, print, or transparency caused by the action of extraneous light, incorrect development, etc” Yes… that must be what happened…

fog and snow

This is one of my first films. I took it to develop somewhere in Barcelona (I was not developing back then, yet) and thought they had ruined it completely. These days, being ill and developing my films from my latest trip, I’m also going through a few old films, trying to fix what before I thought it was totally dead. And it turned out ok for me. Blurry, foggy (it was foggy despite the bad developing) but there is something talking…

If you were a frequent reader of this blog you must have realized our posting frequency decreased till the point of a very low and critical rate per month: 0. We haven’t written propper articles since… March? February? I don’t remember… and back then we were not behaving as writers taking care of their readers. In my case, I was behaving as a human being taking care of me but even that is hard, sometimes.

For the last months/half year I’ve been working like crazy, really really crazy, so many hours I lost the count. First, I was anxious about the end of my former contract and, you know the situation in Spain… so I was facing a whole summer with no job at all! (and no money!) Lucky me I found another job which enslaved me in another company (YAY!) giving all my time and, consequently, my dreams. But that was good. They teach us we need to work hard and get a job. Lucky me, I’m fine in my job, I like it, I like the people there and yes, I can say I have a job which in Spain that is a BIIIIIIG deal. But the life quality is very little. Plus this was my Plan B.

I don’t like getting into too much personal details (which is something we were doing eventually) but I do believe it’s kind of healthy and important to share experiences and say “hey! I’m doing this and I’m doing that, it may not be the right way but it’s the way I’m doing it because it’s possible and because I believe in a better world.” So yes, in the end we talk a little bit personal (just a liiiiittle tiny bit, we don’t want to scare possible artist who want to participate in our project. Hi there!)… just because we are person(s) 

So I’m doing this and I’m doing that…

One of the things I felt having so little free time and spending it here on the internet was that I was talking about “how to do” and I was not doing anything. Also, I focused on learning so much Internet’s vocabulary and how to speak the same language (tagging, posting, etc.) and forgot the whole creating proces and my favourite part which is mainly hiding what I’m telling. Because I like writing between lines (yes, go and try to find the real meaning of this post, I’m talking about dragons and pink unicorns!! no kidding!!) where’s the real ART?! when after your whole creation, very carefully written you go to tags thinking “oh gosh, I’m so wise, only smart people will understand my text…” and write: Photography, text, feelings, how to be a photographer, the actual meaning of an artist, I love my work, I’m so cool I love breaking the rule,” plus a  long list of etc’s showing your hidden meaning? We lose the creativity guys!! Internet is trying to make us believe we can share so many things and in the end we have to put ourselves in a queue and wait for the box they are going to put us in: “photography. Art. wedding photography. Literature. Two more girls trying to do something artistic”

So then the fog. That fog where you can’t see anything. Have you ever felt like “tell me what to do, I’ll do it”? I have. The most anxious feeling ever. So when I feel like that I stop what I’m doing and do other things. In this case, I need to create.

The last week of March, I went to visit Marta in Turin and took some very inspiring photographs over there. With my 120mm Yashica. My friend Nico is also living there in Turin and taught me and helped me to develop that film. I can’t tell with words what I felt then. You can probably see in the photos. I came back to Barcelona and started my plan: find all the materials you need to create nice handmade passepartout with beautiful prints. Then exhibit them and if anyone is interested sell some prints. But when you work 12 hours a day that takes a liiiiitle long to perform.

fluir-emmaespejo fluir-emmaespejo fluir-emmaespejo fluir-emmaespejo fluir-emmaespejo fluir-emmaespejo

(series “…fluir…” -”to flow”)
 
fluir-emmaespejo
 

And the serie “City of glass” (by Paul Auster) (I’m doing a series of series inspired by some of my favorite books)

 
City of glass - emmaespejo City of glass - emmaespejo City of glass - emmaespejo City of glass - emmaespejo
 

(You can see the whole series HERE (plus THIS ONE that is not on the gallery))

 

But it’s done now. Two beautiful series I’m very proud of, limited edition, to be exhibited soon and on sale from now.

So if you’re interested in buying any of my prints, signed and limited edition (up to 8) don’t hesitate to write an email to emma@emmaespejo.com. Also know that by buying one of my prints, you’re helping someone to keep fighting for her plan A and keep dreaming. Because Spain is a very difficult place now but the world is huge endless possibilities, and just because one lives in a difficult place shouldn’t stop dreaming.

Because fog exists… it is there, it’s something created by nature and sometimes it may blurry our vision and we’ll cry for a divine force to tell us what to do. But then, after a while when you let it breathe, you go back to it and you find out that you can do something beautiful out of it. I think I’m still creating and I’m in the middle of the fog, because reality is too real and hard right now. But after some time I’ll live my plan A and will create something beautiful with the fog from my plan B.

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a tale about a word

Once upon a time, there was a word and this word meant nothing. They told it it would need to work hard to become a real word, with meaning, synonims, a clear definition… Even one day it could turn into capitals. The word was amazed by all the extraordinary possibilities. A whole bunch of opportunities arose every day and as the word grew up it was less and less clear its real meaning and definition. The word wanted to belong to a sentence that didn’t exist. It looked in many places, it searched everywhere and couldn’t find a single sentence to stay in. They said “the sentence is there, go and pick one, you cannot be a single word… You don’t want to stay alone in the dictionary, do you?”

There were so many possibilities, so many words to play with that the word could never decide and dare to be just one.

“Choose one and be” they said, “choose one and keep stick to it, defend it, define it, don’t change it or the others won’t understand.” And the word became anxious about not knowing what to be.

“Where’s my sentence?” the word wondered “I just want to be the word I was meant to be written but with only one meaning? They won’t understand anyway! How can I become one single thing and expect them to understand. How do they know what I really mean? How do they know my ethimology, my origins and my actual message? Maybe I’m not meant to be in capitals, maybe I’m a connector or and adjective”

The word was so anxious about sticking to a single meaning that it decided to become the word with more possibilities of meaning, the most variable, honest, rich and descriptive.

“They will never understand me, anyway” the word knew… “but it’s the only way to not stay in a dictionary alone, to have a real and unique meaning with lots of possibilities, still to be whatever I want and to participate in a sentence that has not been written yet and play with other words.”

And the word became a Name.

chess game

 

*text and photo by Emma Espejo
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Blossoming

Sometimes you get stuck in a creative rut, or you simply have so many things spinning around your head that you can hardly focus on one single thing (I notice that the adverb simply acquires quite an ironic nuance in the sentence I’ve just written!).  It’s like having a group of people all speaking out at once, a cacophony of voices and sounds, and without almost being aware if it you are lost in it.

These last weeks haven’t been much productive in terms of photographs taken, or at least not as much as I would like to – and mostly how I would like to. Indeed I have spent a lot of times reading around blogs, ebooks, even tutorials (I hate tutorials: I know they are useful, but I’m more of a try-do wrong- try again type), looking at beautiful pictures and searching for inspiration. I have also gone to the cinema more often than usual, as well as making plans to redesign my own room and working space. Eventually, brief trips and a few days off from the routine have contributed to make me disconnect for a little while.

I have figuratively been piling up ideas, and now it’s time to start choosing what’s worth keeping and start the practical work. It’s not an easy job. The temptation to keep it all is strong and persuasive, but it won’t do.

Along with the bursting of spring, I am going to get rid of some old things and start others anew. And when the cacophony becomes too loud, I get back to the very essence of my soul and to the pleasures of a good book, a song, or a chat with a friend,  all reminding me of my dreams and goals.

As well as flowers in these time of year, new projects and ideas are blossoming. Summer will follow, but for the moment I am enjoying the thrill of life sprouting again.

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